what am I doing? who the fuck knows?
I teach a class on noise and sound art at a university. My students have a good grasp on what to do. Even the few who are unsure about how long a sound piece needs to be or if they are doing it right. I have taught classes at community college about drawing, motion graphics and video art. Those students also struggled with if they were doing things right or if something was finished enough. I have always shared with my students none of those things matter if you don’t start, if you don’t try and if you don’t trust the process of finding out.
What do I mean by these things? What I mean is just do. Do something. Don’t worry about what, who it’s for or how good it is. or if it’s done.
None of that matters unless you start.
I have no idea how to be a musician but I don’t let that stop me. I didn’t know how to be a visual artist either. But I did have interest and learned to ask questions about how to start.
People told me when I was younger that I had to do stuff the way they wanted me to. I was told I did it wrong even if I came up with something which was what they wanted for the outcome of the goal to be. I violated the rules and was chastised for the violation. I rebelled and dig a deeper hole for myself against their bullshit.
The people who made me feel stupid should have explained to me that rules to learning something were there as a guide to get you started and keep you on a path to discovery. Instead they used the rules to punish. The punishment did the opposite of learning. The punishment extinguishes the spark of insight and fun of figuring something out. The next spark sets a fire for someone to be destructive or at least it did for me.
Ok so what does this have to do with sound? Well it means it sometimes puts a person 10 years behind the the rest of the moderately successful people in a chosen field and it puts a person 20 years behind the very successful person in that field. The reasons for this is multidimensional and not the same for everyone. In my case it kept me from knowing what questions to ask and when to ask them. It kept me from knowing when I needed to ask for help and to even recognize the help offered was needed or being able to say thanks for the offer but I really need help with this first before I can benefit for the help you are offering.
This thought is too long already and I lost the thread of where I was going with it. I’m easily disconnected.
TLDR:
I don’t know what I’m doing with music. I don’t know where my music fits or who likes it. I don’t know if the photo, sticker, music thing works or if anyone cares. I don’t know but I started and I’m going to find out.